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Having a beer? Enjoying a cookout? Accidentally setting your neighbor’s roof on fire with bottle rockets? Again? (Sorry, Millie!)

If you like any part of the 4th of July or, heck, any of the freedoms we enjoy as Americans, you ought to thank the one man who made it all possible: John Stark.

Some people like to give credit to George Washington, but they shouldn’t. That man didn’t even have his own teeth. His big 4th of July happened in 1754 when he blundered into losing the battle of Fort Necessity (Fort Necessity!) and had to quit in shame. 

Thomas Jefferson? He could write a nice phrase, sure, but could you count on him when you’re pinned down by Redcoats? Not likely, not unless he thought there was wine at the front. Plus, Jefferson loved France. Is that what you want us to become? France?

The less said about total perv Ben Franklin, the better.

No, every patriotic American ought to spend at least a minute between hotdogs thanking John Stark. The original Cranky Yankee spent his life saving dullard commanders from their poor choices, winning the crucial victory in the War of Independence, and then going back to his farm because he hated phonies.

When the Revolutionary War broke out, Stark was already a legend. He was basically Rambo during the French and Indian War and did everything Roberts Rangers got credit for, while Richard Roberts spent his time being a genocidal maniac.

Stark and a bunch of New Hampshire militia ran (some literally) to save the rebels at the Battle of Bunker Hill, which happened on Breed’s Hill because even then there was nowhere to park in Boston.

The rebels were getting pinned down by British guns, and Redcoats were about to land troops in a spot where they could wipe out our boys. No one was brave enough to risk confronting the oncoming British, and rebel soldiers were milling around like a road crew filling a pothole.

Stark, like most Granite Staters, was used to getting stuff done.

Stark led his men through gunfire to a position where they could set up a defense. Stark and his 1st New Hampshire Regiment wiped out a third of the Redcoats coming at them and forced the British to abandon that landing spot. When it came time to retreat, the 1st New Hampshire Regiment provided cover fire. The British won the battle, but thanks largely to Stark, they lost more than 1,000 soldiers compared to 400 rebel casualties. 

Absent that day was Colonel Enoch Poor, who kept his 3rd New Hampshire Regiment back in New Hampshire. (Seacoasters, man. What can I tell you?) Stark hated the “Exeter Crowd” and clashed with political elites and Poor. And while the connected dandies in the Continental Army loved guys like Poor, they needed guys like Stark. 

Stark and his Granite State boys were pressed to help rescue the Continental Army during the retreat from Canada because, for some reason, sweaty Ben Franklin managed to alienate everyone in Montreal. My guess it was his winning manner with women. “M’lady, pleafe fend nudef!”

Next, Washington got Stark to help him as he floundered around New Jersey like a drunk guy looking for a WaWa’s. It’s time to face facts: Washington was rubbish as a field commander. He got the job leading the Continental Army because he was tall and looked good in a uniform. So long as he didn’t smile.

It’s no coincidence Stark was there when old George finally managed to score some wins. Crossing the Delaware, the Battles of Trenton and Princeton, all that happened while Stark was there adding spine to Washington’s outfit.

For his troubles, Stark got passed over for promotion in the Continental Army while fancy lads like Poor got upgraded. Disgusted, Stark went home to his farm. 

But when the British began their invasion from Canada that could have decisively ended the war in favor of the inbred German monarch, who got tapped to defend New Hampshire? It wasn’t Enoch Poor!

Stark agreed to command a group of New Hampshire rock farmers on one condition: He wouldn’t take any orders from the Continental Army. Guys were literally dropping their plows and leaving church in the middle of service to sign up when they heard Stark was in command.

His outfit wore civilian clothes and looked ragtag and undisciplined. But the thing about New Hampshire colonists is they were all gun nuts who loved to shoot and who were good shots. Some things don’t change. 

Stark brought his boys to the Battle of Bennington, which took place in New York because, even then, no one wanted to spend time in Vermont. British General “Gentleman Johnny” Burgoyne had sent an expedition to look for horses and food, as the most powerful military in the world seemed to have missed some details in planning their invasion. 

Before the battle, Stark told his men they were going to win, or “Molly Stark sleeps a widow.” The British grocery expedition of vicious German mercenaries and crack Redcoats then got absolutely curbed by Stark and his 1,400 rednecks. New Hampshire guys do not like disappointing women.

Stark’s win left Burgoyne and his army in rough shape when they got to Saratoga. At one point, the British thought about retreat only to realize they’d run into Stark and his band of guys born too soon to put stickers of Calvin peeing on things on their trucks. 

Saratoga was the turning point in the War for Independence. The British invasion from Canada failed and, after that the Continental Army got a big boost from the French. I know. The French weren’t really helping us so much as they were trying to get revenge for Agincourt. 

At the end of the war, Jefferson went to France to act French; Franklin went to France to act like Jefferson; and Washington practiced being tall until they made him president. Stark went back to his farm.

Years later, in 1809, Stark declined an invitation to give a toast at a reunion party for veterans of the Battle of Bennington. He said he was too old for the trip, but I think he just didn’t like parties. Instead, he sent a letter to his men extolling democracy and the American Republic, warning about the British, and ending with the all-time banger: “Live Free or Die — Death is not the worst of evils.” 

So when you light up your backyard this 4th (Shoot, sorry Millie!) remember John Stark, the Brit-killing machine who loved America, loved his wife, loved shooting, and had no time for weasels. 

A new force of anti-democratic extremists is taking to New Hampshire’s streets, calling for overthrowing the government while espousing antisemitic hate.

But it’s not far right, white supremacists like NSC-131. It’s the far left, anti-American Marxists in groups like the Party for Socialism and Liberation driving anti-Israel street demonstrations in Manchester and cheering violence against Jewish people.

There’s been no major violence associated with either political fringe in New Hampshire. But Thomas O’Connor, a former FBI agent who specialized in international and domestic terrorism cases, says the danger is greater now than it’s ever been as the state heads into a high-stakes presidential election year.

“The potential for violence in the 2024 election cycle is more than anything I’ve seen in my two-plus decades working on domestic violence extremism,” O’Connor told NHJournal.

On Saturday, vandals keyed the cars of dozens of Republicans attending the state GOP convention in Concord. On Monday, just 48 hours after Iran launched a massive missile and drone attack on Israel, dozens of pro-Palestine protesters gathered near the State House to denounce the Jewish state.

“From the river to the sea, Palestine shall be free,” they chanted, a phrase critics say calls for the destruction of the nation of Israel.

Left and right fringe groups have long existed on the American political landscape in an almost symbiotic relationship, O’Connor said. When a right wing fringe group appears to cause trouble, a left wing counterpart will show up, and vice versa. Think of Antifa showing up to counter a Proud Boys demonstration.

The increasing polarization of American politics, fueled by heavy social media use and turbo-charged by the disinformation deployed by America’s foreign adversaries, worries experts like O’Connor. Russia, North Korea, and Iran are all known to use social media to put out extremist content and conspiracy theories in an effort to weaken America by turning citizens against each other, he said.

“The majority of the country is somewhere in the middle, but the extremes are much larger than they were four or five years ago,” O’Connor said.

Though law enforcement needs to be careful to allow everyone to exercise their First Amendment rights to protest and speak out, authorities need to be aware of the potential for violence.

O’Connor’s view is bolstered by a 2021 study published by the Criminology, Criminal Justice, Law and Society. The study found that while the far right engages in more violence and more deadly violence than the far left, the far left proportionally commits more murders than the far right.

“The results indicate that the far right remains the greatest threat to public safety for the most severe form of violence, namely ideologically motivated homicide. However, some interesting nuances highlight areas in which the far left might create cause for concern. The far left has a larger proportion of homicides with multiple fatalities and a slightly higher rate of homicides targeting law enforcement, albeit at a frequency much lower than the far right. The far left might create cause for concern; the far left has a larger proportion of homicides with multiple fatalities and a slightly higher rate of homicides targeting law enforcement, albeit at a frequency much lower than the far right n addition, far left extremist violence has increased over the last five years, showing that there may be socio-political scenarios in which the far left’s threat to domestic security increases to levels much higher than its average over the last three decades,” the study found.

Many Granite Staters are familiar with NSC-131 and its white supremacist antics. The New Hampshire Attorney General’s Office filed a civil complaint against NSC-131 in February in the Merrimack Superior Court over the group’s alleged threats and harassment of a drag performer at Teatotaler’s Cafe in Concord.

But, the Marxists with the Party for Socialism and Liberation (PSL) are going largely unnoticed as they organize anti-Israel protests in Manchester and elsewhere. The PSL has operated in the state for years, and it’s taking a more prominent role since the Oct. 7 Hama atrocities in Israel. Days after more than 1,200 people were murdered by Hamas terrorists, members of PSL held a pro-Palestinian rally on Elm Street in Manchester. As they shouted genocidal slogans like “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free,” the PSL members simultaneously told NHJournal the murder and rape of Israeli civilians was justified and that it never happened.

“We stand with the struggle of the oppressed against the oppressors,” PSL leader Joy Douglas said on Oct. 11. “The U.N. states clearly that those facing oppression, those who are facing apartheid and genocide, have every right to fight back.”

Douglas said that even though Hamas’ Operation Typhoon was justified, it also never happened. No civilians were murdered in their homes, terrorists took no hostages, no concert goers were gunned down.

“There’s no documented evidence that those people are dead,” Douglas said.

In the months since the Oct. 7 attack, PSL has become one of many anti-American Marxist groups targeting Israel in New Hampshire. The PSL is a radical Communist splinter group formed by former members of the World Workers Party in 2004. The PSL is dedicated to fomenting a socialist revolution to overthrow capitalism and the American government.

Eight people were arrested on March 22 in Merrimack at the Elbit Systems facility during a protest that included vandalism and destruction of property. As police responded to the scene, protestors revealed their anti-police and anti-capitalist views.

“Why are the police here defending the capitalists?” one protester was heard shouting at officers. “Why aren’t the police defending the people? Is it because the police are paid by the capitalists?”

It was the second major protest at the Merrimack Elbit facility. Four women are currently charged with felonies for their roles in the November protest that included setting off smoke bombs. Three of those suspects, Calla Walsh, 19, Bridget Shergalis, 27, and Sophie Ross, 22, had their bail paid by James “Fergie” Chambers, a multi-millionaire Marxist who moved to New Hampshire in order to avoid taxes.

Chambers is involved in various anti-police and anti-Israel protest movements throughout the country. He recently told left-leaning Mother Jones magazine, “I think the most important thing for the prosperity of humanity is the destruction of the US.”

Chambers also called Russian President Vladimir Putin “one of the better statesmen of our century,” and he described Hamas’ Oct. 7 attack as “a moment of hope and inspiration for tens of millions of people,” according to Mother Jones.